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iPhone 11 Pro - THREE CAMERAS!

Apple have done it again

September 10th 2019 will be remembered for generations.

The day the earth stood still.

The moment the human race fell silent as they sat, open-jawed, glued to their TVs, laptops, phones, tablets, fridges… in awe of what they were witnessing.

A dark shape rotates. The camera pans gently across a shadowy outline as a flash of light catches the soft edges of the moulded glass. The first camera appears in the light. Then the second… but wait… what’s this?

A third camera slides into view and the world erupts.

Three cameras.

One Name.

iPhone 11 Pro.

Phil Schiller beams onto stage to rapturous applause, proceeding to reel off a series of advancements over the previous year’s iPhone XS.

The phone comes with three cameras. That’s a massive 150% increase on last year’s model.

The A13 Bionic’s performance bar was about an inch bigger than last year’s A12 chip. At least on my screen it is. Imagine how much bigger that bar was in the theatre.

There are over 8 BILLION transistors on the chip! Not sure what a transistor is, but that’s a lot of ‘em. Certainly enough that when Big Phil declared it, I moistened my trousers.

There are three cameras.

The phone has an extra 4 hours of battery life compared to its predecessor. That means I can wait until 4pm before having to charge my phone.

The screen is an OLED Super Retina XDR (2436 x 1125 pixel resolution at 458 ppi). I believe that roughly transfers to “pretty colours” and “holy crap, I can see my nose hairs”. At least until I drop my phone and crack it.

There is an ultra-wide 12mp camera, a standard wide 12mp camera and a 12mp telephoto camera.

That’s THREE cameras!

The best feature of the new iPhone 11 Pro is one reserved for a special mention, however. It was announced this morning and sent me into a convulsing fit of happiness.

The new phone’s three cameras is apparently triggering people’s fear of small holes.

In related news there are people who have a fear of small holes.

Also in related news, people’s fear of small holes actually has an official phobia – Trypophobia.

According to BBC News, Mrs. Ummeeta Rabiu (@ummeetaa_x) declared: “Apple did not think of us that have TRYPOPHOBIA when making the iphone 11 pro. I cant buy it and be itchy all over every damn time I look at it.”

The iPhone 11 Pro will be available at launch for $999, or you can get the iPhone 11 Pro Max for $1449.

For all that you get THREE CAMERAS and the joy of freaking Trypophobics out on the train, bus or other public transport.

Apple. Take my damn money!

Nick Reed


Do you agree with Nick? Do you think the new iPhone 11 Pro will make mobile filmmaking easier (a topic which was SUPPOSED TO BE COVERED IN THE ABOVE ARTICLE)? Do you even care? Let us know in the comments below, or, yknow, don't.

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